


Declining Mean of Intelligence

by M-alcn (R_RK)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: I'm not sorry, The whole class - Freeform, even more salt, ml salt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 00:37:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16923300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_RK/pseuds/M-alcn
Summary: In which I have even more salt that I hope you enjoy





	Declining Mean of Intelligence

**Author's Note:**

> I took some liberties in this but considering the show has a legitimate akuma alarm, this isn't really that far fetched.  
> I took some inspiration by the post about Marinette being an actual genius. I only watch the French dub so I use French names.

 

“Alright, attention, class!” Mme. Bustier clapped her hands to reign in her unruly children. Though they took a few minutes to finally quiet down, she smiled as they settled down, gesturing at the sharply dressed man beside her. “If you would please listen to M. Baudoin.”

M. Baudoin cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses, black hair slicked back. “Bonjour, children. As you well know, this past week you have been taking several tests.” He scrolled across his tablet, eyes skimming before looking back at the attentive students. “And I am sure you are all wondering why that was.”

Muttering broke out amongst the students, except for Marinette who hid her satisfied smile behind her hand.

“S’il vous plaît, du silence.” Mme. Bustier sharply tapped the desk, making them quiet again.

“Merci, Mme. Bustier,” M. Baudoin respectfully nodded at her before turning back to the class. “As I was saying, M. Damoclès requested tests of intelligence to be run, by order of the Mayor.”

The class turned to Chloé who had a haughty smile on her face, not looking at any of them as she examined her nails.

Alya hesitantly raised her hand, only speaking when he nodded at her to go ahead. “Desolée, Monsieur. But why is it necessary to take these tests?”

“Yes, Mlle…”

“Alya Césaire.”

“Mlle. Césaire. Our esteemed Mayor was following the advice of one of our much respected heroes.”

“Oh, who?” Alya asked, curiosity piqued.

“No one really knows Mlle. But they did bring up excellent points.” He pushed his glassed back up his nose. “With this past year of near constant akuma attacks and interrupted lessons, it has come to our attention that they may be affecting the mental and psychological health of all students in Paris. We will even be having a psychological assessment after the mental, intellectual assessment.”

Max raised his hand, a million thoughts on his tongue, which he was quick to begin unloading when he was allowed. “But Monsieur, we didn’t take the standard IQ tests.” As he spoke he tapped at his calculator. “And these tests are statistically pointless, as there is a 98.999 % chance that every student has been aff—”

“Oui, merci, M…” M. Baudoin help up his hand to quiet him down, helplessly lost.

“Max Kanté.”

“M. Kanté, we have been in negotiations for a month now, which is the exact period when this project was first suggested.” He swept his eyes over all the students, looking at them intently. “As these are unique circumstances, we were offered unique solutions, taking into consideration advice from our heroes.”

At this Adrien just blinked confused, as it was certainly not Chat Noir.

Marinette was barely able to hide her wince. She _knew_ she forgot to do something. She should really talk to Chat tonight. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too upset.

“We did use several of the standard IQ methods of testing, with additional subjective questions to test your logic, reasoning and cunning. And we have prepared a way for the scores to be compared to the standard IQ scores. We were pleased that the full number of students was able to partake in the test. But we were rather disappointed with the results.” He fixed them all a stern glare.

“Oh.” Mme. Bustier was as surprised as all of them. “Why is that, Monsieur?”

“Well, Madame, with a few notable and astonishing exceptions as well as those that didn’t experience any particular change,” he cleared his throat a bit, taking a deep breath, “this school has experienced a unanimous, uniform decline in the mean of intelligence.”

The whole class was stunned silent, except for Marinette who buried her face in her arms to stifle her snickers, the results completely expected. Though the silence didn’t last for long as the class exploded in loud protests, that were promptly quieted by a loud SLAM.

“What did we _just_ say?” Mme. Bustier asked, hands on her hips.

“Pardon, Mme. Bustier,” the whole class chimed together.

“Could you please explain, Monsieur.” She turned to M. Baudoin.

“Bien sûr, Madame. It was quite astonishing,” he scrolled through his tablet, readjusting his glasses, “this class in particular, had the steepest drop.”

“How?” Mme. Bustier clasped a hand over her mouth, offended on behalf of her students.

“I would say it could be the constant disruption, constant distraction, constant emotional upheaval or,” he shrugged, the gesture not fit with his demeanor, “it could be magic itself.”

Alya finally shook herself from her stupor, not even raising her hand before speaking. “Monsieur, did Ladybug help set the questions?”

“Why would you ask, Mlle?” He tilted his head at her.

“No offense to any of us, but if she did, it would be no wonder if we all saw a decline. Her mind is beyond the comprehension of mere mortals.” Alya wildly gestured with her hands as she always did when discussing her favorite hero.

Ladybug herself didn’t know how to feel. On the one hand, it was always flattering to hear compliments. On the other, she’d literally betrayed Ladybug’s civilian identity a few weeks ago.

“While oui everyone would agree about Ladybug, these tests were approved by special committees. They are rather sound given our situation.” He stroked his hand over his chin before turning back to his tablet. “Bref, as I was saying, this class has shown an overwhelming decline, except for perhaps two students who didn’t show any change. And one, well, hmm…” he stalled, staring at his tablet, still to this day perplexed. “Mlle. Dupain-Cheng?”

Marinette immediately straightened up, not expecting to be called out and hoping she looked casual. The way she was ramrod tense didn’t show much promise.

“Ah, oui,” he stared at her like she was a baffling specimen he was trying to decipher and it was unnerving. “Tell me Mlle, how old are you?”

“I’m 14.” Marinette shrugged, not sure where this was going.

“Recently?”

“Yes.”

“Did you skip any grades, Mlle?”

“I’m the youngest in the class. I think I did while I was still in Elémentaire.” She barely had memories of that, but she could vaguely recall skipping 10ème.

All her classmates stared at her, not knowing that, though she didn’t notice.

“Well Mlle, your scores were quite astonishing. Especially the subjective questions. You were able to see any loophole and overcome it.”

“Merci!” Marinette beamed back at him causing him and all the class to shudder. That smile was dangerous, knowing.

“In all honesty, Mlle, they were quite terrifying.”

“Hehe.” She nervously giggled, barely stopping herself from rubbing the back of her head in an obvious betrayal of emotion. This plan wasn’t supposed to bring scrutiny to her civilian self.

“To be blunt, you’re on genius levels, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.” Even as he said those world shaking words, he continued swiping across his tablet.

Marinette felt her jaw drop along with the rest of the classmates, practically feeling how both Chloé and Lila were seething at her. But she paid them no mind, panic overtaking her. She just brought more attention to herself. Papillon would target her even _more_!

“I think you might be mistaken, Monsieur,” she blurted, desperate for a solution.

“We were quite thorough, Mlle.” He sent her a glare before returning to his tablet. “We made no mistake.”

“These won’t be made public, will they?”

Here, M. Baudoin finally looked at her, a bit of worry on his stoic face. “They will be sealed, indeed.”

“But criminals could still try to hack it.” She fought desperately to keep her voice even.

“No need to worry Mlle, the way the scores are written, only someone on the committee can be able to decipher it. There are also no records of how the score functions. You do not want anyone to know?” he asked, curious.

“I don’t really like that kind of attention on me.” Marinette smiled sheepishly.

But she was screwed either way. If Lila knew, Papillon would know. She just needed to be more careful. Every plan had its drawbacks, after all.

“Understandable.” He smiled at her, returning to his tablet.

But he didn’t get far, before he was interrupted by Kim. “Euh, mec- Monsieur, what about Max?”

M. Baudoin turned impassive eyes to him. “What about him?”

“He’s a genius. Smartest kid in school,” Kim bragged, giving Max a thump on the back.

“Well I’m sorry to inform him, that according to our scores, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng is now classified with the top score of your school.” He continued scrolling on his tablet, summarily dismissing them.

There was a collective intake of breath as the class looked between Max and Marinette, who just thumped her head back into her arms.

_If I have to deal with Gamer –or maybe it’d be Scorer –again, I’m going to break something._

“Well we do have a Markov, by one Max Kanté. He was in a category of his own. Perfect scores.”

Max’s took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes to wake up from what he was 100 % certain was a dream.

“Ah, oui. Our _other_ notable score,” M. Baudoin pursed his lips in disdain, searching the room with his eyes. “Mlle. Rossi?”

This stirred some excitement from the class, while Marinette bit back her groan, rolling her eyes in the safety of her arms.

Of course, _of course_ , that liar was smart. _Ugh_.

“Oui.” Lila straightened up, voice sickly sweet, eyelashes almost fluttering, visibly preening. Marinette didn’t even need to look at her to know all of that.

M. Baudoin continued to stare at her, the look bordering on disgust. “I don’t know what game you were playing, Mlle. But in official tests, we do not accept lies.”

At that Marinette snapped her head up, leaning forward and heart beating in anticipation. Finally, _finally_ , someone with reason.

“But, Monsieur, I didn’t lie,” Lila protested, voice pitiful and teary as the rest of the class backed her up.

“I do not know who you are trying to fool, Mlle, but climbing the Tour Eiffel is impossible.”

_Well unless she was akumatized._

“And before you claim having hero abilities, we were already informed that you do not. So we will be speaking with your mère in regards to you embellishing official required tests.”

Marinette could barely stifle her squeals. _Finally_!

As he scrolled a bit more on his tablet, M. Baudoin finally locked it, returning his gaze to Lila. “We have already sent her an email. If we do not hear back in the evening, we will know what happened. And expect us at your door then, Mlle.” After a firm stare down at Lila that seemed to cow her, he returned a more pleasant look to Mme. Bustier. “It was an honor, Mme, but I need to go to the other classes. Bonne journée.” He nodded at her before he headed out the door.

“Oh, au revoir, Monsieur,” Mme. Bustier called back to him, before returning her eyes to her students, focusing first on Lila then on Marinette.

And while Marinette was infinitely grateful that Lila was finally exposed, she did _not_ need this scrutiny, her whole class following their teacher’s lead.

“Marinette—” Mme. Bustier began.

Marinette never thought she’d ever be grateful to hear the Akuma alarm, but she was, she really _really_ was.

She shot off her seat, swinging her bag over shoulder, yelling, “I’m going to hide at my house. _Gottagobye_!”

And she sprinted away ignoring the multiple calls of her name.

As she raced down the stairs, Tikki peeked out of her purse. “Well I think your plan might have backfired a bit, Marinette!” she chirped at her.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me.” Marinette groaned at her, heading down the school steps and hiding against the wall of the stairs. “At least my plan worked and proved my suspicions.”

“You never told me what it was.” Tikki floated out of her purse to hover in front of her.

“I was thinking that all my classmates were getting dumber and dumber.”

“So you had to spread it through the whole city to prove a point! _Marinette_!” Tikki giggled, scandalized, her little nubs covering her mouth.

“Well I couldn’t accuse them without proof.” Marinette smirked, spreading her hands in an unconcerned shrug.

“Marinette!”

“We’ll talk about this later, Tikki. We have an akuma to fight and I suspect I left those dumb-bells with a lot of weight to think about.” Marinette winked at Tikki who only giggled at her. “Anyway, are you ready?”

“All set. I can’t wait to see their faces the next time you see them.”

“Oh, trust me, me too. Tikki, transforme-moi!”

**Author's Note:**

> Bonjour= good morning  
> Mme= usually used for a married woman  
> Mlle= usually used for an unmarried woman or young women  
> S’il vous plait, du silence= (basically) please, some silence (or quiet, both work)  
> Merci= thank you  
> Desolée= sorry  
> M = Mr  
> Monsieur= sir  
> Oui= yes  
> Bien sûr= of course (or sure)  
> Bref= anyway (literally translated to briefly. It basically means i digress)  
> Elémentaire= it's before collège basically elementary school  
> 10ème= CE1= second grade (our country was collonized by the french in the past and we still have french schools, this is how ours was)  
> mec= dude (basically)  
> mère= mother  
> Bonne journée= good day  
> au revoir= this usually means till next time, implying that there is the possibility of a next time without that next time being necessary  
> transforme-moi= transform me  
> pardon= pardon (excuse me)
> 
> Just in case someone needs this


End file.
